We were driving back home after an amazing weekend in Madison Wisconsin--Quinn had a performance there with our friends BadWolff. Like most couples on roadtrips, we spent our time listening to a streaming service and talking about our relationship--in particular, when we wanted to get married.
“Who am I getting married for?” I asked myself and then my brain’s floodgates split open revealing a whole new list of questions
Because I recognize marriage as, essentially, a business move I believe people should be complete before getting married--complete meaning gainfully employed, financially savvy, and self-sufficient--in order to be considered a true power couple. Quinn on the other hand believes if you love someone, then status doesn’t matter in marriage and the power comes from being a good couple, not being in good status. “Everyone wants to live that Jay-Z and Beyonce life,” he said candidly.
My argument to him: *sucks gums* Well, bae, marriage and weddings cost money, and unlike rich women with baller parents, I don’t have the means to pay for it, so I can’t do it.
“My parents aren’t giving me a dime to put towards a ceremony, let alone my gown, so we need to get it together before we get married so we can both reap the benefits and pay for the things we want to do.”
Then Quinn asked, “Well who the fuck are you getting married for?”
YUP. He didn’t ask me “Who are you getting married to?” I would’ve quickly responded with “You bae, duh.” He didn’t ask me, “What the fuck am I getting married for?” “Because I love you bae,” would’ve been my response.” He asked me “who” and “what for?”
I was shocked.
“Who am I getting married for?” I asked myself and then my brain’s floodgates split open revealing a whole new list of questions.
If bae asked me right now, would I say yes? Does this man really want to stick it out with me while I’m broker than broke? Can we really have a marriage that doesn’t fall into the American wedding tradition?
I’m not even gonna lie, for a minute there I almost said “no.”
Like many career driven women, I, too, forget what it really means to ‘have it all’ which should never mean money, employment, and the glamorous life. Thankfully enough, bae wasn’t through with me before the wheels in my head began turning again.
“You got to understand something babe, if we’re gonna do work, we just gotta do work. We don’t need to be famous to have power. We just have to make moves together. That’s where power comes from. Being together when shit goes down.”
He was absolutely right, and I was about to start crying. Power isn’t about making moves with a lot of money. A power couple is something much deeper than a baller duo with three brands and 100K followers. In fact, you don’t even need money to be a power couple.
That’s because a power couple is one that, no matter the circumstances, solve their problems together and works hard for the greater good of the relationship.
It’s a couple that’s compassionate, steadfast, and diligent in their love and respect towards one another. A love that, ultimately, spreads positive energy throughout their individual lives, making it easier for each partner to achieve success. Work may be slow, but y’all be damned to go without food, water, and shelter; therefore, with combine forces you work to take care of one another. That’s what a real power couple is, and bae taught me that.
Even though I was in my feelings, Quinn had to check me and I’m glad he did. We’re an even stronger couple because of it.